Sesshomaru's Addiction
by MostlyxShortxStories
Summary: It was the only way. The only way he could escape his harsh reality. The selfish bastard Sesshomaru found comfort in his little friend. Tourniquet tight on his left arm, he plunged the needle into the vein that awaited the posion. One-shot.


Italicized text are flashbacks, except for the song. I own nothing of Inuyasha or the song Hurt by  
Nine Inch Nails. Or I think its Nine Inch Nails who did the song. Idk. I've only heard the Johnny  
Cash version.

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* * *

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_I hurt myself today  
To see if I still feel  
I focus on the pain  
The only thing thats real_

It was the only way. The only way he could escape his harsh reality. The selfish bastard, Sesshomaru, found comfort in his little friend.

_The needle tears a hole  
The old familiar sting  
Try to kill it all away  
But I remember everything_

Tourniquet tight on his left arm arm, his right hand plunged the needle into the vein that awaited the poison. He shot some in, saving the rest for later. It was an everyday thing, and it all started eight years ago. His little daughter, Rin, didn't know what it was that he was doing. All she knew was that it put him in a happy mood, and he suddenly wanted to spend more time with her. Being so young and innocent, only ten, she was glad that he was spending quality time with her. But she never understood why her grandparents were so mad with him all the time, and why they constantly had arguments. Her grandparents had threatened to take her away if he didn't stop. Rin burst into tears crying. She didn't want to leave her father's side.

_"Sesshomaru if you don't stop this shit now, we're taking Rin! She's just a little girl and doesn't know, but soon she __**will **__know, and she'll hate you for it!", Sesshomaru's father, InuTaisho had yelled at him. His mother stood by her husband's side, crying. Rin watched and listened from the top of the stairs. As soon as she heard that she would be taken away, she bolted down the flight of steps and stopped right in front of Sesshomaru, hugging him tightly and crying._

_"No! Please don't take me away from my daddy! I love him! You __**can't **__take me away! I won't let you!", she screamed at her grandparents. InuTaisho and his wife looked at the little girl, and their hearts broke. So innocent, so naive as to what her father was doing. So naive to the fact that it would one day kill him if he chose to continue with that lifestyle._

_Inutaisho spoke up. "Rin, please. Its for the best right now. You're daddy is sick and needs help."_

_"Whats wrong with him?" Rin questioned. She noticed the pained look in her grandparents' eyes._

_It was Sesshomaru's mother who spoke that time. "You're daddy just needs time alone. He needs medical help."_

_"You still didn't answer my question! Whats wrong with him? And why do I have to be taken away? Why can't I just stay with him?" Rin yelled out. Her grandparents couldn't answer her questions. She was still too young for them to tell her. _

_"You see that?" Sesshomaru finally spoke up. "She doesn't want to leave me. She wants to stay. Please don't take my little girl away. She's all I have. I'll get help right away, I promise." That was the first promise of becoming clean that Sesshomaru had made. His parents thought hard on it, and decided that they were going to give him a chance._

_"Alright, Sesshomaru", his father began. "We won't take Rin, but you have three months to get your act straight, or else we __**will **__take her." Rin ran to her grandparents, giving them a hug and thanking them for not taking her away. She went back to her father's side, and Sesshomaru looked his parents straight in the eye, and thanked them also. They only nodded. "We'll be checking up on you though, so one slip up and Rin's staying with us", his father said. Sesshomaru nodded in return. He watched his parents walk out the front door. When they were gone, he bent down and hugged Rin tightly, crying into her shoulder. He decided that it was time to make a change not only for himself, but for his precious little girl as well._

Yeah, that lasted all of three years. Rin was thirteen and entering into eighth grade when he started fucking up again. She had finally found out what it was that Sesshomaru was doing. But being the kind-hearted and still naive young girl that she was, only thought he had this bad habit because it helped him cope with reality. Truth be told, _he_ didn't even know why he did it. All he knew was that it made him feel good and gave him a high that he never wanted to come down from. His parents checked up on him like they said they would, and when they saw that he had broken his promise, they took Rin to live with them. She made no argument about leaving, only complied, finally realizing that her father _did _have a problem. She hugged him goodbye that day.

_"Sesshomaru! You were doing so well for three years! What happened?", his father asked angrily. Sesshomaru couldn't answer that. He looked at his daughter, saw the pain in her eyes, and hung his head in shame. Rin stood by her grandmother, holding her hand. There was a knock on the door and Sesshomaru jerked his head up. _

_"Who did you bring?" he asked._

_His father answered, almost regretfully. "The police. Because of who you are, you will only serve ten days. After that, you will be transferred to Life Solutions, one of the best rehabilitation centers in the country. You will have all the help you need there, and you'll be staying there for four months. We will be Rin's legal guardians during that time. When you get out, she will be back in your custody."_

_Sesshomaru was thoughtful for several minutes, then asked, "will I get to see Rin?" As his mother opened the door to let the police in, she answered. "That depends on both you and her, Sesshomaru. If your behavior at the rehab center is well, then you'll have weekly visits with her. But then it will be up to her if she wants to see you." Sesshomaru nodded, and with a pained voice, said ok. The police came behind him and patted him down. When they found nothing on him, they cuffed his hands behind his back. They then did a brief search around the house and found one solitaire needle lying on his bed, next to a small empty bottle. They put the items in a brown paper bag so neither his parents nor Rin would see. As they were leading him away, his father put his arm on his son's shoulder, and said in a loving and stern voice, "my son, this is for your own good. Your mother and I love you, and we only want what is best for you and Rin." Sesshomaru quickly nodded, and Rin went to him._

_"I love you daddy. Please, when you get clean this time, try to stay that way. I'm really going to miss you", she said in a choked voice. As she hugged him, he said, "I love you too Rin. I promise this time, I'll stay clean." He kissed her cheek, stood up, and said goodbye to his family._

_The ten days he spent in jail weren't too bad, besides the fact that he had to quit cold turkey and was in horrible pain each day. The mood swings made his ten day cell-mate laugh, remembering when __**he **__himself used to be the same way after he quit. When Sesshomaru's ten days were up and he was sent to Life Solutions, he was still withdrawing. He laid awake in his bed at night, sweaty and writhing in pain. He was allowed two pain killers a day, and the bottle was kept with the staff for understandable reasons. _

_"I..have...to do this..for Rin", he said, completely in agony. Those four months went by slowly, and eventually, Sesshomaru's body became used to being without the drugs. His behavior at the center was well, and Rin decided to see him weekly. He asked how she was doing in school, and she said she was doing great, Rin was always a good student and always at the top of her class. The best high school in the country, Tokyo Private School for Girls, wanted her to start her sophomore year there after eighth grade. She would be ahead of her class by two years. She politely declined, stating that while she was grateful for their offer, she preferred to stay with her class and graduate with them. Plus, she had many friends that she didn't want to leave behind. The school board members were understanding and wished her the best._

Rin could have graduated at sixteen and left her home to go to college right after. She could have avoided the mess by two years that took place several months after her eighteenth birthday.

Sesshomaru was shooting up heroin again, and acting like he cared about Rin and her life. She was in her room studying for her high school exit exams, or at least trying to, when she heard her father making his stupid noises. He would always yell out "HEY!" and "HERE WE GO! OH!". Thats how she knew he was high. And then he would start walking around the whole damn house, trying to clean. That was the most annoying, because he tried to clean _everything _in sight. He would even bring out the vaccum and start vaccuming in the hallway...in HER hallway, right by HER bedroom door.

She set her books down on her desk and rubbed her temples. She had had enough already.

'I can't sit and watch him kill himself slowly', she thought, 'but theres nothing I can do. I can't be frienly with him, 'cause then he'd think that what he's doing is okay, and that I don't have a problem with it. But I _do _have a problem with it, and he knows it; but he won't quit, not even for me. He's just too selfish. So I have to act rudely towards him, and talk to him as if I don't care about his existence in this world. I hate doing this, and acting like this, but it might get him to stop what he's doing. I guess this is tough love.'

A loud knocking on her door interuppted her thioughts. It was Sesshomaru. 'Oh Kami what does he want!', she thought angrily to herself. Sighing, she answered. "What!" she asked in an obviously annoyed tone. Sesshomaru asked if he could come in, and she reluctantly agreed. He walked into her room, nearly falling down. He sat down on her bed with a loud 'HUFF', and Rin stared at him in complete annoyance.

"Uh, Rin!", he began, basically yelling. "Do you, AHEM, want to get some dinner?"

"No dad. I'm not hungry. Now please get out of my room. I'm studying for my exit exams and you're being extremely annoying", she said with an attitude. Sesshomaru noticed the way she was talking to him, and was not happy about it at all.

"Rin, I don't like your attitude-

"**What **attitude?" she interuppted.

"That one!" he yelled at her. "You see Rin, I wasn't going to do anything today, because I think of all the shit you put me through when I'm high. You have an attitude and you don't wanna play games with me when I'm like this!"

"Oh, all the shit _**I **_put you through?" she yelled back. "What about what _you _put _me _through? What about all the shit that _I _have to put up with it? You're all fine and dandy with yourself when you're high, but _I'm _the one who has to see it, and hear, and deal with it!"

"Yeah, exactly, _deal with it_. And stop making this about you! It isn't always about _you._ Stop being such a goddamn self-centered little bitch."

"So now _I'm _self-centered?" she asked. Boy was he pissing her off today. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. 'This bastard', she thought to herself. 'What the fuck is his deal?' "I'm not always making it about me! Its always been about you! You could never stay clean because it was always what _you _wanted! _You _wanted to get high. _You _chose this path of destruction, and now its killing you slowly! You couldn't quit for good, not even for _me!"_ Sesshomaru sat on the bed, just staring at her. Her anger was built up inside her so much, she couldn't even cry. She _wasn't _going to cry. Not anymore. She was done with it. She began yelling at him again. "You know, I could have graduated at sixteen, and thats what I should have done. At least I would have been the fuck out of this hell hole. And thats why mom left before my tenth birthday, right? Because even back then you were shooting up. You didn't stop then, and you won't stop now!" She calmed down once memories of her mother Kagura began to form inside her head. She saw her mom smiling and laughing, looking so happy.

Then she remembered the day she left. Her mother and father had one of the biggest arguments that day. They yelled and called each other bad names, and Rin was just sat at the top of the stairs, crying and holding onto her teddy bear. Kagura walked out the door that day and never came back, except to throw divorce papers in Sesshomaru's face. The divorce was finalized six months later, and Kagura didn't even say goodbye to Rin. But then Rin remembered that that was the reason why she hated her mother. Her mother never called her for any of her birthdays, and never came around for christmas. None of that mattered to Rin anymore though. Her mother was the past, and now she had her future to deal with. She looked at her dad, and in a very calm voice said, "I would like it if you left me alone now. I have to finish studying." Sesshomaru stared at her for a long moment, then said 'fine', and walked out. When he was gone she sat down on her desk chair and sighed heavily. She put her head in her hands and closed her eyes. 'Ok, now I can't think of it anymore. He left me alone now, so I can resume my work in peace'. And thats what she did.

Sesshomaru had stormed off to his room after that, slammed the door and sat back on his bed angrily. 'What the fuck', he thought to himself. 'God I'm a failure. I know it and so does Rin. Things won't ever get better. Rin's grown up now. She'll be graduating high school and be out of here in no time flat. With all her scholarships, she can go to school _anywhere. _She'll probably go to the States to study, just to be away from me.'

_What have I become  
My sweetest friend  
Everyone I know goes away  
In the end  
And you can have it all  
My empire of dirt  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt_

And Sesshomaru had let Rin down countless times. He hated himself for it. Rin hated him too, and there was no one to blame but himself.

_I wear this crown of thorns  
Upon my liar's chair  
Full of broken thoughts  
I cannot repair  
Beneath the stains of time  
The feelings disappear  
You are someone else  
I am still right here_

It was true. Rin was a different person now, very mature for only eighteen years old. Sesshomaru was just there, still getting high at thrity-nine years old. 'What a waste of a life', he thought. His father was a famous business tycoon, and Sesshomaru was his vice president, bound to take after the company once his father died. But he always fucked everything up. With the way he was living, he wouldn't be taking over _any _company. Sadly, he looked at the needle that lay in front him. It still held the rest of the poison that he didn't inject earlier. So once again, he took up his tourniquet and needle, and slammed the rest in. He took in too much on purpose. He laid back on his bed and waited for the black poison to take its course. It was running through his veins and soon it would reach his heart, killing him instantly. He had one last thought in his mind before his eyes closed for eternity: 'Rin will finally be truly happy.'

_If I could start again  
A million miles away  
I would keep myself  
I would find a way_

Rin found him the next morning. She didn't cry or scream when she saw him, face pale, lips blue, and a green liquid oozing from his mouth. She simply called the ambulance, and they came in ten minutes. They let her know it was too late, but she already knew.

His funeral was a week after that. Her whole family was there, and she half-expected her mother to attend. She knew that would have never happened though.

Rin didn't cry when the priest spoke, and she didn't cry when her father's coffin was lowered into the grave. She just stared, a distant look in her eyes, and somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that this was how it was all going to end. Her grandfather broke her out of her thoughts.

"Rin, we're leaving now", he said gently. She nodded and took her grandmother's hand. They walked to the black limo that would be taking them home. Rin's grandparents had permanent custody of her, even though she would be leaving in three months. As they drove home, Rin stared out of the window, gazing at the green trees. She would _never _end up like her father.

She kept that promise til the end of her days.


End file.
